I can't find a break from it.
no solace
He helps, but it never leaves
I almost wish myself away
at times
recently
never before
momentary glimpses of freedom only exist in the worn out memories of the distant past.
I had a mother for ten years of my life.
where did she go?
not here
anywhere but here.
I'm hurting. I want her to comfort me,
to hold me and ask what's wrong.
I want her to be able to listen to my pain
I don't think she's capable of five minutes.
just five minutes.
I would take my mom back for five minutes
if that's all I could have.
I would tell her I love her,
I miss her
I want her back
I would just hug her, knowing she cared
and she'd hold me,
rocking back and forth
not having to go yell at someone,
not having to vacuum when I need to talk
not interrupting a heart to heart to talk on the phone to a friend she saw moments ago.
to be my mom again.
five minutes.
